How I Fell Out of Love With Writing

FREELANCING| WRITING

And what it took to find my writing mojo again

Sometimes the ups and downs of freelancing can really get to you, and some freelancers feel they have no choice but to return to being employed as writers. I tried it too, and it had pros and cons. Here’s the story of how I lost and then regained my writing mojo.

The year was 2017. In our freelancing household, everything was going well. Then we had a series of huge expenses (including tech we had to replace unexpectedly, and car parts). Suddenly, we needed more income than usual, and we didn’t where it was going to come from. So when a remote job landed in my lap, I took it, while continuing to freelance a little bit on the side.

Never ignore that small voice in your head that tells you something isn’t a good idea. I did, and it cost me. Sure, the bills were paid, but the rest of the experience wasn’t working for me.

Don’t get me wrong: the people I worked with were nice (and I’m still in touch with some of them today), but it had been too long since I’d done a 9–5, and something in the back of my mind told me it made sense to keep a few of my best freelance clients happy, just in case.

The result was that I was overworked, under-rested, and pretty grumpy about the whole thing. Writing 7 days a week can do that. I lasted 15 months, but while I was there, I started to fall out of love with writing.

Even typing this kind of gives me the shivers, because writing is what I’ve done most of my working life.

Beyond the Fear: Finding New Creative Outlets

I’ve always felt pretty lucky in being able to make a living from something that I love. But that recent working experience turned writing into a chore. Hence the question: What if I can’t do this any more?

In my other life as a Reiki Master, I know it’s important to keep your own cup full. Not only is it good for you, but it’s also good for other people you want to help. As a writer, I believe it’s also part of valuing yourself.

So instead of giving up on writing altogether, I tried to find writing-related ventures that filled my cup.

One thing I did was to fall back on my other love: teaching. I started (after years of dithering) a small business mentoring program called the Biz of Writing. The purpose is to help small business owners (usually those who are starting to think more about marketing) get their heads straight about promoting their writing business.

To date, I’ve run the program twice and am currently turning it into a series of self-paced courses. Of all the writing-related activities I did in that very hard year, that’s probably the one that brought me the most joy.

My second big project was to self-publish a book based on academic research. It’s called Exploring Shadeism. I had such fun doing that that it’s inspired me to work on some of my other back burner projects.

What I Learned

The whole experience was pretty instructive. I learned that even a scary question like “what if I couldn’t write?” could open the door to new opportunities. If you reframe it as “what would I do next if I could choose?”, then there are all kinds of options for valuable, fulfilling work.

That’s why I haven’t given up on writing, though I’m focused on choosing more interesting projects.

And recent events (like my anti-racism writing) have shown that I’ve still got a lot of words in me, so I’m going to continue to explore other types of writing to maintain the joy in writing that I’ve rediscovered.

This is an updated version of an article that originally appeared on Lori Widmer’s Words on the Page blog. Other articles in the series include:

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© Sharon Hurley Hall

Sharon Hurley Hall is an anti-racism writer, a professional B2B writer and blogger, and co-host of The Introvert Sisters podcast.